(If you are unmarried, this post will not have much application in your life at this time, but it is something worth putting in your filing cabinet of ideas for the future.)

As we go about our busy lives with grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, dirty bathrooms, and yard work piling up, it is so easy to get in the habit of moving from one task to another, just trying to get it all complete while saving your sanity. When I first got married, I thought that I had to be little Susy Homemaker and have everything perfect all of the time in order to be the best wife I could be for my husband. Thankfully, a few months into marriage I read some good advice that took a lot of pressure off of me.

Question: Have you asked your husband what three things you could do in the home that would make him feel relaxed and excited to walk in the door each night?
Chances are, those answers are not what you might expect. When I asked my sweet hubby this question, I expected something about keeping up the laundry, sparkling counter tops, fresh pressed bed sheets and a hot, steamy meal each night when he walked in the door. You know what he said?

Here was his list:
1. Keep the couch cleaned off (no laundry or clutter)
2. Smile at me often
3. Greet & kiss me when I walk in the door

Really? Here I was, bending over backwards and breaking my back to try to get everything done and make everything perfect for him so that he would be happy and I would being doing a good job as a wife, and that’s all he wanted from me?

Your husband’s list may not be quite as simple, but still, if you know of just three things that will make him feel loved, it’s just three things you have to do!

Now, I’m not saying that his list freed me up to sit around and do nothing productive all day (on a spotless couch, of course), because as the wife I am called to be his helpmate and it would not be helpful if I just played around while he was out working. I am still responsible for keeping a home (and at this point since we do not have children yet I am working outside the home as well), but it is so much more pleasant to know that if there are dishes in the sink or cobwebs in the corners, I have not failed in wifehood. Now if I have been busy all day and only have a few minutes before he gets home, I know what I can do to make his day when he steps out of the exhausting work world and into his castle.

As you can imagine, this greatly decreased the amount of stress and pressure I felt to please my husband, but I would have never known these things unless I had asked.

Ask!

Do you (like me) sometimes forget that the large lump that you wake up next to each morning is a real, living, breathing human being with thoughts, feelings, and opinions? He is? Oh, yeah, he is!

Knowing what your husband likes and dislikes, what pleases him and what causes him unnecessary stress, can lift a great burden off of your shoulders as his wife. Have you ever heard the saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” It’s true! If the wife is less stressed and more relaxed, the entire mood of the household will be more peaceful. Making your house a home starts with the hearts and attitudes of the people inside the home. Your home can be immaculate, but if you have a sour, stressed-out disposition, you will not be able to cultivate peace in the home. So much stress can be eliminated by communicating with your spouse and knowing what is important to them.

Have you asked your husband what three things are most important to him?

 
Every few weeks I meet with a very sweet lady from my church. We are reading a book together, so we spend time discussing the book, and then time talking about life and prayer requests. She is not what most people would consider an older lady, but she is about fifteen years older than I am and has quite a bit more life experience, so therefore she makes a wonderful, godly mentor.

When we met together on Tuesday, she made a comment that got me thinking. I was asking her about what advice she would give someone to prepare before motherhood.

She said, “I would tell them to get their home life organized and their home making routine down to an art now, because that will make it so much easier once they have children to think about.”

That got me thinking, how many young (and even some older) women out there are in the midst of busy lives and feeling like they live in chaos?

Probably quite a few. I do not claim to be an expert in this area, but although I have only been married three years, I have spent that time learning to manage my household and it has served me well. I would like to share with you several things that I do that help keep my life simplified, and free me up to have time to serve outside my home and enjoy my friends and family (even while working 40 hours a week outside the home).

Welcome to this new series on Making Your House A Home. I hope that you will find helpful information, as well as share your own advice on how you manage your household!

Today my hubby and I have been married for three years! God is so good to grow our love for each other each day. We went on our anniversary date last night and reminisced over memories from the past seven years (we courted/dated for four years before we married). I am so blessed to be married to my best earthly friend!

So, when we were planning our anniversary date, we decided it had to meet three criteria:

1. Healthy
2. Frugal (well, frugal for a special anniversary date)
3. Fun

We took a picnic to the park by the lake!

To keep me from having to spend a lot of time preparing food, we decided to get dinner from the deli at Whole Foods (well, I did bring along some rolls that I had already made, but everything else we bought at WF). This was a special treat because we have never gotten already prepared food from there. I make just about everything from scratch, because 1) it’s cheaper and 2) I can control the ingredients so that we eat real food and not additives.

There are not really any real food restaurants where we live, so this was the closest thing we could find. As I read the ingredient labels on the foods at the WF deli, I was surprised to see how many extra, non-real food items were added in to some of the recipes (canola oil, soybeans, etc.). However, we did find some really yummy stuff and ended up enjoying our picnic!

We had chicken scallopini, cucumber/mango salad, artichoke/portabello salad, cranberry/turkey salad, chicken & dumpling soup, corn chowder soup, rolls, and keylime pie & strawberry rhubarb pie for dessert. When all was said and done, we spent a total of $37 had quite a bit of food left over! That’s not too bad for eating real food that was pre-prepared! If we had gone to a nice, non-real-food restaurant, we would have spent around $15 or more per plate, plus tax, plus another $5-12 for dessert, plus tip… and it probably wouldn’t have been as healthy.

After dinner, we laid out on our picnic blanket and stared at the blue sky while we talked, then we read aloud for a while (we are on the third Hunger Games book, Mockingjay), then took a stroll through the park and around the lake. It was a beautiful evening!

It’s been a while, I know. You see, a little less than two months ago on April 20th, 2012, my father was suddenly and traumatically swept from this earth to his eternal home with Jesus Christ. He left behind a wife, five children + a son-in-law, a mother, a father and step-mother, and many others who loved him dearly.

Today is his birthday. He would be 48 years old.

Up to this point, I have wanted to write, but the words just haven’t come. Suddenly, life doesn’t seem as exciting any more and writing about ways to save money, great recipes, and how to recycle this or that just seems so trivial. Don’t get me wrong, I am still enjoying reading about those things, but I can’t find it within me to write about them right now.

Then, I remembered that the reason I started this blog was to write about learning to be a faithful woman of the Lord in all aspects of life. Sometimes in homemaking, sometimes in matters of the heart.

So here today I share with you my heart and pray that you will find encouragement in these words.

I am not perfect. Not even close. I am a sinner, saved by grace, learning to live in this world that is not my home, longing for the eternity which I will spend with my Savior. I mess up all the time, but Jesus Christ is sustaining me with His all sufficient grace.

“And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” II Corinthians 12:9

I am weak. I am weary. Most days I wake up feeling like I don’t think I can get out of bed, but the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, His mercies never come to an end, they are new every morning! Great is His faithfulness! (Lamentations 3:22-24) Every morning He gives me new mercies to roll out of bed and start a new day.

You see, it’s not me that is strong. I have no greatness within me. I struggle to remember the truth of God’s Word. I doubt His love. My heart wrestles with the path I have been asked to walk and the path that my family must walk with me.

But we are not walking this path alone.

 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

“You have taken account of my wanderings; put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?” Psalm 56:8

Many of you are experiencing great trials. Perhaps the loss of one you’ve loved your whole life, or maybe of one you never had the chance to meet. You may be experiencing struggles, hardship, persecution, affliction, pain, etc. Whatever trials you are going through, there is a God who loves you deeply. He has promised never to leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5).

So, today, I celebrate my earthly father’s life & plead my Heavenly Father to give me the strength, grace, and mercies to live another day for Him. This broken heart is grieving, but God is near and sustaining and I am clinging to Him and His comforting, everlasting arms.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” II Corinthians 1:3-4

I pray that your heart will find comfort in Him, too.