June 23, 2012 in Uncategorized
(If you are unmarried, this post will not have much application in your life at this time, but it is something worth putting in your filing cabinet of ideas for the future.)
As we go about our busy lives with grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, dusting, vacuuming, dirty bathrooms, and yard work piling up, it is so easy to get in the habit of moving from one task to another, just trying to get it all complete while saving your sanity. When I first got married, I thought that I had to be little Susy Homemaker and have everything perfect all of the time in order to be the best wife I could be for my husband. Thankfully, a few months into marriage I read some good advice that took a lot of pressure off of me.
Question: Have you asked your husband what three things you could do in the home that would make him feel relaxed and excited to walk in the door each night?
Chances are, those answers are not what you might expect. When I asked my sweet hubby this question, I expected something about keeping up the laundry, sparkling counter tops, fresh pressed bed sheets and a hot, steamy meal each night when he walked in the door. You know what he said?
Here was his list:
1. Keep the couch cleaned off (no laundry or clutter)
2. Smile at me often
3. Greet & kiss me when I walk in the door
Really? Here I was, bending over backwards and breaking my back to try to get everything done and make everything perfect for him so that he would be happy and I would being doing a good job as a wife, and that’s all he wanted from me?
Your husband’s list may not be quite as simple, but still, if you know of just three things that will make him feel loved, it’s just three things you have to do!
Now, I’m not saying that his list freed me up to sit around and do nothing productive all day (on a spotless couch, of course), because as the wife I am called to be his helpmate and it would not be helpful if I just played around while he was out working. I am still responsible for keeping a home (and at this point since we do not have children yet I am working outside the home as well), but it is so much more pleasant to know that if there are dishes in the sink or cobwebs in the corners, I have not failed in wifehood. Now if I have been busy all day and only have a few minutes before he gets home, I know what I can do to make his day when he steps out of the exhausting work world and into his castle.
As you can imagine, this greatly decreased the amount of stress and pressure I felt to please my husband, but I would have never known these things unless I had asked.
Do you (like me) sometimes forget that the large lump that you wake up next to each morning is a real, living, breathing human being with thoughts, feelings, and opinions? He is? Oh, yeah, he is!
Knowing what your husband likes and dislikes, what pleases him and what causes him unnecessary stress, can lift a great burden off of your shoulders as his wife. Have you ever heard the saying, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?” It’s true! If the wife is less stressed and more relaxed, the entire mood of the household will be more peaceful. Making your house a home starts with the hearts and attitudes of the people inside the home. Your home can be immaculate, but if you have a sour, stressed-out disposition, you will not be able to cultivate peace in the home. So much stress can be eliminated by communicating with your spouse and knowing what is important to them.
Have you asked your husband what three things are most important to him?